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Title: How to Kiss a Man
Email: Belladonnaf66@ yahoo.com
Permission to archive: yep
Fandom(s): NCIS
Genre (slash)
Pairing/Characters: G/D
Rating: FRT-13
Summary: Ziva, Tony and McGee discuss an article about how to kiss a man, and Gibbs gives the practical demonstration
Warnings: unbeta'd 'cause I'm working on other stuff and wanted to post this...mea culpa-also very schmoopy. Also, wildly implausible. ..you've been warned!
Notes: sighs heavily-stupid muse wanted this.
Acknowledgments: There's a fic with a similar setting, but I can't think of it. So, whoever wrote it, thanks for the inspiration for setting.
What do you think?
Article: "How to Kiss a Man"
http://www.lifescri pt.com/channels/ healthy_living/ Life_Tips/ how_to_kiss_ a_man_top_ kissing_tips_ for_women. asp?trans= 1&du=1&gclid= CO_L7f2R75ACFUty OAodsk371A& ef_id=1350: 3:9edae49fdcecd0 6509df5e5ef3401a 1e_585897605: H76gQkGvMUIAAHB6 GqwAAAAH: 20080111213649"
So, with my own twist, evil Kaytee, here it is...
~*
“Whatcha reading, Zee-va?” Tony drawled as he draped himself over her shoulder to peer at her computer.
“How to Kiss a Man,” Ziva replied distastefully. “It was like a crashing car, I couldn’t look away.”
Tony chuckled. “We’re pretty shallow. We accept most kisses,” he said. “And the saying is it’s ‘like a trainwreck’.”
“Whatever,” she scoffed. “Look at this, ‘You need to smell good’.”
“Well,” Tony said and looked over at McGee who shrugged. “That would be nice.”
“Okay, I’ll give them one,” she said, frowning as she clicked for the next page. “Oh please, start with small gentle kisses?”
“Well, not everyone wants a man-eater, Ziva,” Tony said. He grinned at the next part and pointed with his finger. “And no drooling.”
“Oh, I once dated a girl like that,” Tim said, making a face. “It was like dating a St. Bernard.”
Tony made a face back while Ziva laughed. “Oh look, sometimes you like your faces licked!” she crowed.
“Guh, I don’t think so,” Tony replied, scandalized.
“This doesn’t look like you’re working on your reports,” Gibbs said as he walked down the stair, his omnipresent cup of coffee in his hand, blue eyes wickedly amused.
Tony abruptly straightened up. “We’re done, boss. I was just making sure that Ziva was okay, she was over here snorting.”
“You okay, Ziva?” Gibbs asked mildly.
“Yes,” she said, violently scooting her chair back to run over Tony’s foot, which made him swallow a curse.
“We were just talking about how a man wants to be kissed, boss,” McGee explained helpfully.
Tony disentangled himself from Ziva’s chair and desk, moving over to stand beside Gibbs. “It was an article that Ziva found, Boss. You know, no drooling, brush your teeth, whether we like our faces licked,” he explained and rolled his eyes at McGee. “Only if I were a dog.”
“Really,” Gibbs said. He put down his coffee on Ziva’s desk, put his hand on the back of Tony’s neck and reeled him closer. He smiled as Tony’s eyes went wide before he pressed a butterfly gentle kiss to Tony’s lips, once, twice, before licking Tony’s bottom lip and diving in for a deeper kiss. He let his tongue slide over Tony’s teeth before twining their tongues, swallowing Tony’s groan. He pulled back with another gentle kiss, brushing his lips over Tony’s jawline, letting his tongue slide up to the strong cheekbone before pulling back.
“So, what do ~you~ like, DiNozzo?” he asked huskily.
“Coffee,” Tony croaked.
Gibbs smirked and stepped back. “Good thing. Well,” he said, sweeping the shocked faces with a glance. “If you’re done, then get out of here.”
“Yes, boss,” McGee squeaked, grabbing his bookbag and he and Ziva dashed out of the office, both still big-eyed with surprise.
Tony sighed and scrubbed his face with his hands. “I’ve been poisoned, right? I’m unconscious? No, wait,” he said, pointing at Gibbs. “I’m dreaming, right?”
“It’s up to you, DiNozzo. You know where I live,” Gibbs said, before leaving Tony standing in the middle of the bullpen.
Tony blinked twice, then pinched himself. “Ow!” Then his eyes went big and he grinned. “If he likes to lick ~there~…” he said, and grabbed his stuff and hustled out. He had a date.
creative
amused
tired
devious
infuriated
crappy
confused